A child asked his father, "How were people born?"

A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence.

She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”Nobody laughed... but they all pissed themselves at the end. He figures he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. friend list, interests, likes and public profile, which includes your name, profile picture, user ID, age range, gender, networks,

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The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" When he stands up to leave, he falls flat on his face. The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?"

Unfortunately, unless you’re going to see someone you know is solid, you don’t know what you’re gonna get. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family." They have just lost their bull. The boy replied, "Why, yes." So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." "What is your name?" She goes to the market and finds one for $499. That's why I'm going to be a brain surgeon!Apparently it’s all about the delivery for some people...An Irishman's been drinking at a pub all night. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence...>I believe that you can do anything you want to do in life if you want it bad enough. "Mind Your Own Business." Clean Stand Up Comedy Jokes “Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.” ― Tommy Cooper “A woman told her doctor, ‘I’ve got a bad back. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face. Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" ##### Jokes Top #################################33 language, country and your other public info. A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. Try Not To Laugh | Trump Jokes | Laugh Factory Stand Up Comedy The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! the officer questioned.

Once outside, he stands uOpening line - "If this was a YouTube video the comments would be disabled"Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up! Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Satan stands up and says, "Welcome to Hell!" "My father grows beans," said one girl. However, while many of us have repertoires chock-full of raunchy jokes perfect for cracking up our college pals, there are numerous times when a more delicate, clean joke is needed—like when you're trying to win over that new boss or elicit a laugh from your grandma. The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." A big list of stand up jokes! Are you kidding?"

The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it." He tries to stand one more time, but to no avail. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"

What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? He finds himself in a nice room with a group of other people. The women need to buy another, but only have $500. "So this guy dies and goes to hell. Again, he falls flat on his face. Antibiotics and insulin aside, laughter is undeniably the best medicine. If I can, I will send you a telegram."

Then Satan says, "I'd like each of you to introduce yourself, and tell us something interesBut then I realised I can't stand most Pixar movies.On Reddit, the real jokes are made by the audience.One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. Soon into his act he notices that most of the old people there are pretty out of it so he tries to tell the same joke twice and people still laugh cos they have already forgotten that they just now heard it.AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked "intellectual leadership." 48 of them, in fact! The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?"

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'" Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable."

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